Wedding Planning

21st Birthday Celebrations

The choice of a 21st birthday theme depends largely on the person and sometimes on the venue. While most people opt for a formal-style party, there are also those who prefer something more relaxed, such as a picnic lunch.

Here are some themes and ideas that have worked in the past and are still popular:

• Come dressed as what you wanted to be when you grew up
• Come dressed in what you were wearing when you opened this invitation
• Mad Hatter’s Tea Party (wear a funky hat)
• The Titanic is about to sink, come in what you're wearing when it goes down (Shipwreck Party)
• Barn dance (may sound a bit lame, but often proves to be great fun!)
• Pick a country: for example, an Italian evening (you can get your local pizza parlour to deliver pizzas for everyone - great way to save money on food!)
• Black and White - with a difference
• Mafia Party
• Choose a decade (eg. 60's theme)
• Come dressed as something beginning with the birthday boy/girl's initials
• Come dressed as your favourite cartoon or film character

Most evening functions will tend to be more formal and will cost more too. A great way to save money is to celebrate with either a breakfast or a picnic. You can have these outdoors, too, which helps to create a less structured feel. Popular venues for picnics are Tokai Forest, Groot Constantia Estate, Kirstenbosch, the beach and some restaurants out in the Paarl/Stellenbosch area (while this may be a long way to travel, people can make a day of it).

The upside (or downside, depending on your point of view) of evening functions is that they usually involve dancing. Guests expect to dance at an evening celebration and if this doesn't happen, the night seems rather long and people end up going home early.

Once a theme has been chosen, it's best to create a checklist of things that you'll need. Below is just a rough idea of what the list should include:

Venue
Figure out the number of guests first and then look for a venue. Venues book up extremely early on a Saturday because it’s a popular day for weddings. Don't be surprised if it's booked up as much as a year in advance! If it's an evening function, check that there will be enough space for all your guests to dance and where the dance floor will be in relation to the tables. (You'll find that grannies and grandpas who may be attending don't really want to be swamped by what they regard as your ‘very different’ music!)

Most venues don’t allow outside caterers. This is an important point as it means you'll probably have to use theirs and they are seldom cheap. The biggest cost of the evening will be your food, drink and hiring of the venue. But a great venue really helps to create atmosphere. Good food is also always a winner. Sadly, at most 21sts, the food is boringly predictable (lasagne and ice cream, anyone?) Yes, it's a cost-effective meal but so are many others that are far more exciting. Give the food some thought – be different and creative! Even if you do serve lasagne, at least make it sound intriguing, as in: ‘Tender layers of rich pasta, smothered in a creamy bolognaise and fresh tomato sauce, with a hint of pepper and thyme’. Sounds a bit more mouth-watering than plain ‘lasagne’ doesn’t it?

Photographer
Either hire a professional or give the job to a friend who knows something about photography. Remember, after the party is over, the photos are all you have left of the evening. So, don't leave this to the last minute and don't entrust it to a hack! Make sure you have someone you can rely on. Also, don't try and do this yourself. It's your party and you want to enjoy it and not have to wander around asking people to say ‘cheese’. A tip: write down beforehand the specific shots you would like, eg. one with the parents, one with gran and gramps, one with the whole extended family etc. It's amazing how, in the whirl of the moment, these seemingly obvious things get forgotten.

Invitations
This is my favourite part of the planning. Please, please don't regard this as unimportant. The invitation creates the mood of the party. It makes the guest either want to come immediately or wait and see what else is on that evening. Most invitations are very predictable - why not be different? The chances are that when you're turning 21, the majority of your friends are too. This means you'll be going to a lot of 21sts! Try to stand out and have the party that people remember, beginning with your invitation. And fancy-looking invitations don't need to be expensive. Think outside the box and you'll be amazed at what you can do. Just for example, why not create a CD, or put the invitation on a balloon, or make a fake newspaper, or create a website, or ... or ... the possibilities are as endless as your imagination.

For my brother’s 21st we sent everyone a letter resembling a court summons. We printed it on official-looking paper and addressed it exactly like the real document. Most people had a few heart-stopping moments while they opened it, trying to remember what offence they might have committed! It was a great success and created an obvious link to my brother, as he was studying law at the time. This is an important point: If you can, try and link the theme to yourself in some way. (A popular choice that allows a lot of scope is asking the guests to come dressed up as something beginning with your initials.)

Decor
This is another biggie and is also often overlooked. Try and have a particular theme that is carried throughout the party. This doesn't need to be as obvious as having pirate decor to match a pirate theme (not that this would be a popular theme for 21-year-olds, more like 10-year-olds!). It can be as simple as using the same colour on the invitation and the table setting. It’s the little things that help to create great effect and continuity.

As decorating the venue often takes time, check when you can begin setting up and try to prepare as much as you can at home, so that it just needs to be assembled at the venue. Check essentials like power points and if your extension lead will reach to where it should. Make sure you have the means to hang up your decorations and that you have printed out the correct number of table settings for the actual number of tables!

Even if you’re having an outside party, try and think of ways to include some decor in the event. Otherwise, people might remember it as just a picnic in the forest and not as your 21st birthday party. Tie some ribbon with beads in the trees, or have matching picnic blankets or a giant banner featuring something linked to your theme.

Music
The maker or breaker of most parties! Choose a professional to do this for you. I have been to numerous parties where ‘a friend’ (I have even been that friend!) has been given the task of handling the music and it is never as good as it could be. Spend the money - you'll be glad you did. The problem with friends, however willing, is that they often don’t have the necessary equipment to be a DJ and their selection of music may be limited. There is nothing worse than hearing the Greased Lightning Remix six times in one evening! Also, there are always those awkward breaks between each song while the CD's are changed, leaving everyone on the dance floor staring at one another as they try to forget their foolish antics during the last song! Sadly, many people just sit down at this point out of sheer embarrassment. The evening will lack flow, which is vital in creating a great party. You want your guests to look at their watches (if they even think of doing that) and go, ‘Wow, it's past 12 already!’ - not ‘Oh, my goodness, it's not even 9 yet!’

Cake
Not an essential, but a nice touch. People like to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ at a birthday and a cake gives them this chance. The birthday boy/girl often cringes at this point, but hey, it happens once a year - why not try and enjoy it? When you have a cake, again, try and keep to the party theme, even if it’s something as small as using the décor colours for the ‘Happy Birthday’ on the cake. Birthday cake also works as a great parting gift for your guests and it completes the party experience (well, for me at least!).

Speeches
Just my opinion, but this is what distinguishes a 21st from any other party. Choose a maximum of 3 friends and one family member to make these. Give them a time limit (your guests will thank you). If at all possible, try and pick people who are comfortable speaking to a crowd. This isn't a necessity but guests’ tolerance of the ‘cringe factor’ is often limited! Also remind your speakers that older family members will be there too. Try to avoid foul language and inappropriate stories. The evening is meant to be a blessing to your friend. Save the rude and/or embarrassing stories for later.

A good time to have the speeches is after the first course or starters. DON'T make your poor guests listen to your childhood stories before you feed them. Speeches tend to take longer than planned and you'll find that with a bit of sustenance under their belts, your guests will be more inclined to listen to your speech and laugh in the right places!

Master of Ceremonies
This is another maker or breaker. Choose a friendly, funny, people-person to do this. Don't pick a stern-faced principal-type figure. Remember, your guests need to feel relaxed right from the start and the MC helps to achieve this. He/she starts the evening off and informs everyone of the proceedings, eg. ‘Starters will now be served’, ‘We will cut the cake soon’, ‘The toilets are at the back on the right’, etc."

It’s a good idea to sit down with this person before the event and fill them in on how you would like the evening to run. Yes, this means you'll have to think of this in good time - don't just try and wing it! It will turn out like your Std 2 unrehearsed oral if you don't plan. Trust me - you don't want to be running around looking for a knife to cut the cake with at 11:30 at night!

Ice-breakers
Sounds like a silly idea, but it really works. Think up some way to help your guests to mingle and feel comfortable. Chances are that you'll have many different groups of friends at your party who might not know each other. Using an ice-breaker is a way to combat this. Without it, you will find little cliques forming and you don't want to have to try and jump from group to group during the evening. And ice-breakers needn't be embarrassing. Actually, it's better if they're not.

People don't like to participate, but they'll often do it for a reward! Offer a prize for the person who completes the task first. Also, put a time limit on your ice-breaker. There are few things worse than an ice-breaker that nobody wants to participate in, but that drags on for an hour or more. A great idea for an adult ice-breaker is to change seats after each course. This lets your guests mingle, but doesn't make a whole event of it. Another good one is to put the name of a famous person on each person’s back, which they must figure out by asking others questions. (The other people are only allowed to answer ‘Yes’ or ‘No’.) A hint: try not to give your Gran a celebrity like P-Diddy, the chances are really high that she'll never guess it. And you've got one hip Gran if she does!

To summarise: think about the event a LOT before the actual day. Plan everything from the time the guests arrive to the time they depart. Picture yourself as a guest and try and think of every scenario you would encounter. Then come up with solutions now, not later. On the day itself you want to relax, knowing that you've done the necessary work required beforehand, leaving you free to PARTY!

On this website you will find service providers that can help you out. When dealing with them, feel free to ask questions - it's not a sign of stupidity, in fact the reverse. Don't assume anything – ask. You'll rest easier that way, because you know your concerns have been dealt with. The service providers are all experienced professionals and will be able to answer your questions.

Now, having totally stressed you out with an overload of information, take a deep breath and relax. It's your party and you can cry if you want to, but I suggest having a great time!

Enjoy it
Nic Black