2007

Jan Theron Photography

There are several questions regarding wedding that are frequently asked and I thought I would share these with you in case they are ones that you would also like to ask.

My daughter is getting married and I am uncertain what to wear?
Before choosing their outfits, it’s wise for the mothers of the bride and groom to discuss (with each other and with the bride), the colours and styles they will be wearing - bearing in mind that it is inappropriate for either to wear a white or cream outfit. When making their choices, they should also take into consideration the colours the bridesmaids will be wearing, and they must obviously ensure that they don’t upstage the bride in any way.

As your offspring’s wedding is a very special occasion, it is well worth investing in a specially made garment, instead of buying one off-the-peg. I have heard stories of mothers faced with the embarrassing situation of arriving at the wedding wearing the same outfit as a wedding guest! Try to choose an outfit that you will be able to wear again, or one you can easily mix and match with other garments in your wardrobe.

Does the groom’s father have to make a speech?
Generally speaking, it is not necessary for the groom's father to make a speech. However, if he is really keen to do so, there is no reason why he shouldn't be given the chance. I once attended a wedding where the groom was the son of a leading politician. Not only did his father make a speech (difficult for a politician to pass up on such an occasion!) but his mother also insisted on having her say.

Does the bestman at our wedding have to be single or can he be a married man?
There is no reason why the best man has to be a bachelor, as it is quite acceptable for a married man to fulfill this role. The same applies to the groomsmen in his retinue.

My fiancé has a sister whom I do not know very well. Do I have to ask her to be one of my bridesmaids as I have two friends who I would much rather prefer to ask?

There is no rule that states that you have to ask the groom’s sister to be one of your bridesmaids. Your attendants should be close friends who will be able to support you on this important day. I would suggest that if you feel you must include the groom’s sister in your wedding, you could do so by asking her to do a reading at the ceremony or to act as an usher. You could also provide her with a corsage to make her feel more involved.

I’m confused! Do I walk down the aisle on the left or the right side of my father?
According to a Marriage Officer I spoke to it is traditional for the bride to walk down the aisle on her father’s right hand side. The father can then easily hand her over to the groom and she then links her right arm through the groom’s left arm. According to tradition the reason for this was to ensure that the groom had his right hand free if he needed to reach his sword if for any reason he had to defend his bride!

There are no hard and fast rules regarding what one should wear to a Muslim wedding, except that one's dress should be reasonably modest (bare shoulders and low-cut tops are not a good idea). In the mosque itself, women should have their heads covered by a scarf or a hat, but men are not required to wear a fez.

Is it necessary to have an attorney to draw up our ANC or can we do so ourselves?
According to our legal advisor, as an antenuptial contract is a legally binding document which has to be attested by a Notary Public and lodged in the Deeds Office, it is not possible to have one drawn up by a layman. From a personal point of view, after listening to many talks by attorneys on antenuptial contracts, my awareness of the importance of this document has increased significantly and I would definitely recommend that all engaged couples approach an attorney to have one drawn up.

How do we tell our guests that we would prefer money to gifts?
Without a doubt this is the question I am asked most regularly by engaged couples. I always find this a difficult one to answer, since it is generally considered impolite to do this. What many couples overlook is the fact that they have invited their friends and family as their guests to witness their wedding.

Strictly speaking, these invited guests are in no way obligated to give you a gift. It is the same as if they had invited you to their home for dinner, in which case they would not expect you to bring them an expensive gift, or to proffer some cash! The best way to get around the problem is to spread the word via your respective parents that you would prefer cash, as you are saving up for a particular item. (Guests would generally like to know what the money they give as a gift is going to be spent on and that it is not just going towards paying off your credit card, for example!) It is also inappropriate to ask for any particular amount.

Another big no-no (although many couples are doing it today) is to include details of your chosen gift registries with your invitations. This information should rather be conveyed to guests when they enquire about gifts — or, if you really feel it's necessary, it could be mailed to them separately, after you have sent out the invitations.

And one that we are asked often is about Celebration House itself!

Is it necessary to make an appointment to visit Celebration House and is there any charge for your services?
There is no need to make an appointment to visit us – we are open on Monday to Friday from 9.00 -4.00 and unlike attending a wedding show there is no charge whatsoever to visit. We are happy to provide you free of charge with all the information you need to plan your wedding. We have over 120 service providers who exhibit with us and we pride ourselves on the fact that all our service providers are recommended names you can trust. We are celebrating our 11th birthday next week and many of these service providers have been with us since we opened in 1996.

You are welcome to visit us at Celebration House, 14 Protea Road, Claremont (close to Cavendish Square). Tel: 021 674 7350 www.celebrationhouse.co.za